5 Important Details For Developing Rapport

Let's take a peek at the basics of developing rapport with others. In a nutshell, it takes asking questions, having a positive, open attitude, encouraging an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listening to verbal and unspoken communications, and sharing positive feedback.

Here are essential details on each step:

Ask Questions - Building rapport is similar to interviewing someone for a job or a reporter doing research for an article. Relax and get to know the other person to find common ground or interests. One way to start is to comment on the other person's outfit, if in person, or about their computer, if online, and follow up with related questions. For example, in person, you could compliment the other person on their color choice and a pin, ring, or another piece of jewelry and ask where it came from. In online communications, you could complement the other person's font, smiley faces, or whatever they use, mention that the communication style seems relaxed, and ask if he or she writes a lot. Then, follow up, steering clear of topics that could entice or cause arguing while gradually leading the person to common ground you'd like to discuss.

Attitude - Have a positive attitude and leave social labels at home (or in a drawer if you're at home). Most people can tell if you have a negative attitude or feel superior to them. So be sure to treat other people as you would like to be treated. And give each person an equal chance.

Open Exchange - Encourage others to share with you. Some people are shy, scared, or inexperienced with communicating and welcome an opportunity to share. So, both body language and verbal communication invite conversation. Face the other person with your arms open, eyes looking into theirs gently (not glaring or staring), and encourage a conversation with a warm smile.

Listen - Be an active listener. Focus your thoughts on something other than what YOU will say next. Listen to the other person's words and take mental notes while paying attention to body language. For example, if the other person folds his arms and sounds upset, you may need to change the subject or let him have some space and distance; maybe even try approaching him later on and excusing yourself to go make a phone call (or head to the buffet table or somewhere to escape). On the other hand, if the other person is leaning toward you, following your every word, and communicating with you as if you were old friends, BINGO. You've built rapport!

Give Compliments - And hand them out freely without overdoing it. Leaving a compliment is like a part of yourself and creating a good memory for the other person to recall - numerous times. That's a good rapport. But be sincere! False compliments aren't easily disguised.

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